[Dream Project]
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6/20/04
i am visiting family. there is a huge extended family around, plus some old friends. i realize that its the last day of my visit and i haven’t been out of th ehouse, so i decide to take my rental car out - after extremely frustrating non-conversations with a few people about where to go. so i’m winging it.

i drive down a road which seems to lead to a highway, however, i end up inside a restaurant and navigate carefully around the chairs. in spite of that, people alert me to the fact that two blonde teenager are face down with soda glasses empty next to t hem. i’m told that one of them is dead. i try to talk to the manager about it but everyone seems distracted and talks nonsense. so i move on.

i get in the car, and with a lot of difficulty drive a little further. i park the car and get out. i’m stopped by a very strange constable. he seems to have something important to discuss with me, and i assume it’s about the girls. but no, he asks me if i tasted something out of a pot on the stove somewhere.

i admit that the other night i was at a show when a man covered with shaving cream walked by and i tried to taste what i thought was marshmallow fluff. but spit it out. he insists on walking me around, but i find my limbs are heavier and heavier. i can barely move. suddenly, this moving counter spins around and the restaurant comes to us, it slides into view, like a piece of scenery. it’s the manager again, but they seem to have forgetten all about my crime. i decide to cut my losses and get back to my car. my limbs are so heavy i can barely move. i wake up, still almost paralyzed.

3/21/03
I was hanging with a bunch of friends and we were travelling together on a road trip. Then someone gave me a huge box of Mary Jane as a gift. Then we all got on a plane that the pilot went crazy on and did crazy stunts and tried to scare us because we were late getting on. We landed safely but I told the pilot we were late because we got pulled over by the cops so he understood and apologized. Then we went inside this big "fraternity" style house by Pier 39 in SF with lots of community spaces and bedrooms and all hung out.

2-12-01
I was driving on some sort of coastal highway at dusk. I wasn't going too fast, cars were passing me. then came a steep incline. I was drinking water, and the amount of water I drank seemed to determine how much gas was left in the car. I only had about two sips left as the car was climbing this insane incline. it was 901Ú4, at times it seemed even more than 901Ú4. a few cars were stopping by the side of the road. I couldn? understand how the car (the Toyota corolla) was staying on the road, it was certainly quite scary. several times I thought I should turn back but I had to make it over the hill (to see the other side).

Suddenly, I was close to the top and the car disappeared and there I was hanging onto a ledge. it was well-lit: someone? living room. a middle-aged woman named Mattie or Hattie was there, and she was proprietress of this little hideaway or mountain rest-stop. I was desperately hanging on, not wanting to fall back down the approx 1 mile I had climbed up this hill. But I wasn? terribly scared, just wary. I didn? look downward, but kept talking to Mattie, trying to convince her to pull me up and away to safety. She was pretty stern and rigid in her ways.

She was selling something, and this space I had reached, this ledge was for people who were buying or were somehow previously associated with her. We discussed this for 5 minutes, the whole time I was slipping and worrying that I might not be able to keep hanging on. But finally., I convinced her to let me grab hold of the plastic banners that she had draping off the edge. the banners were some kind of advertisement and she had a lot of them. they were made from a fibrous plastic. I grabbed hold. then I convinced her to pull me up using the banner. This she finally did.

There I was, in this terribly small room. She was very strict as to where I could stay for the moment. I needed to rest, and I was still coming down from being petrified. I lay straight on one side of the miniature room, right by the edge where I was afraid I could lose my balance and fall off quite easily. a few more hikers showed up eventually, crossing over the ledge like they had done it before. I took one look down and it was indeed a 901Ú4 asphalt road that led to this perch.

Eventually, I left the room, for I had lost my fears and had settled things with Mattie, and wandered around the plateau, trying to find a way to get back down or to go to the next location. On one side, there was another insanely steep incline, but this one was 651Ú4 or so and cars were whizzing up it without much problem. At the top of this plateau was some sort of town. The hard way I had come was rarely taken by many travelers, but it was on the map.

Outside, in a city, I? looking up into the sky with a huge crowd of people. the clouds are performing crazy rotations and storm-like movement. swirls, colors with bright indigo blue interspersed. Suddenly, after ten minutes of this action and my father standing next to me taking pictures of the clouds, I noticed the beginning of a swirl formation, a funnel. slowly it built up and then down came the funnel, straight down and immediately I darted to the front.
without hesitation. normally, I am a cautious sort, but without thinking I ran up through the crowd to the front of the line that was forming to go into the funnel, which now looked like a UFO beam. augie Kreveienas had also ran up and was ahead of me. and then who do I see up close but Elle and I know she wants to go, and I know she feels like she should, and I grab her and convince her to come and we are in this line to the heavens, together, and it is all right.

Augie shoots upwards. the clouds are still roiling and the massive crowd is still in awe. Elle goes before me? it is risky - the hole will only last so long everyone knows. I shoot up and land inside a hazy, light-filled wooden octagon-shaped tree house. everyone is there, sitting around, practically bubbling with muted excitement. we are waiting. Then suddenly, we are all in a ford economize van driving down the main street of the city where we just were, past the crowds of people staring at the sky. it is not too bad of a day. we head over to a thrift shop. I have my camera with me.. Elle and I, so happy, were enjoying its presence. its beautiful polished steel, and curves. I was fingering it, I admit.

When we get to this thrift store Elle and I have a fight. she wants to go in and do this. I am being cautious once again. she leaves and I am disgruntled.....and wake up and she is gone.

8/24/00
i was somehow in the house i grew up in. i was running errands with my mother when i checked my airline ticket and realized my flight was at 7:30 pm that night. though it was only 11am, she panicked and seemed to dismiss/not take any responsibility or initiative for getting me there. somehow, taking a cab was not an option, since i was about an hour away from the airport. i was frantically making phone calls, trying to get help. somehow i ran into dave on the street and we were in brooklyn. we went into his place, and it was full of people i used to know and miss and people i'd like to know. i missed the plane and ended up with a physical crippling feeling where i could not move my legs except painfully and slowly.


11/26/99
My friend mark was living in this beautiful house with a hot tub in the living room. daphne had three rooms attached to it, with a view of a rushing creek right outside.

She wasn't living in the rooms, but they were set up with minimal furniture as some sort of art display. We walked the rooms and i was thinking, wondering where she got all the furniture. the house seemed like it should be mine. but she seemed very unwilling to give it up. i started thinking if i had ever seen someone living right by a creek like that, was it dangerous? it was beautiful and i hadn't ever thought i might like it before. there seemed to be a group of friends who perpetually hung out in the living area. for some reason i was rewashing their dishes and some type of disagreement happened between me and one of the girls concerning the princeton public library (the town i grew up in).

I went into the library with a little girl who was connected to the house and i changed in the little girls's room into a sort of ball dress/witch costume. then, it seemed that i was supposed to bring a package from the house (which now seemed to be in downtown princeton) to near the princeton shopping mall.

I waited about an hour for the bus. my shoes were very high heels and impossible to run in, so i missed one bus. i went back to the house in the meantime and the girl i had the disagreement with was brushing and rolling up my hair. she seemed quite proud of her work and insisted i trade something worth twenty bucks for it. However, as soon as i walked out the door, the hair fell down. The bus arrived and two girls from the house were with me, helping me find out where to go. we talked to the bus driver and he said he knew where, and dropped me at a church. it was a church i used to take ballet lessons at when i was thirteen. we walked in and i found the room we used to take class in, still with ballet barres and mirrors. however, i knew that my memory wasn't constructing it right, and the church and the ballet room were actually very different in reality, my mind was creating a composite of churches i'd been in since then.

I went to get something to eat. somehow, there was a supermarket connected to the church. a strange one. there were big pieces of poisonous snakes hung up on display. they all looked very different. for some reason, i had a memory of eating a whole rattlesnake (not MY memory, i think!) and i started eliminating snakes. a woman came up and warned me not to touch them. she gave me a plastic bag to pick them up with. for some reason, nobody passing seemed to think this was disgusting, or unusual. they had a mild interest in it, if anything, they were envious because i was producing my own poisonous snakes, where they had to BUY them! where i touched them by mistake my hands were burning.

aliens
beauty
betrayal
celebrities
children
death
dwellings
food
illness
jealousy
loss
love
paralyzed
performance
shopping
snakes
superpowers
travel
violence
weather
work