1/22/05
I was living somewhere which seemed like my current place yet very different.
The refrigerator was crammed with food. I decided to clean it out.
One
of the things I found was medicines, one was a hemp medicine, in small
injectable tubes like a drug. I started getting worried that all the
food would go bad so I decided to cook some of it.
I
took out a chicken from a package of four. I get out a shallow pan for
it. My ex comes in and give me a cookie sheet to use. I notice the chicken
is black outside as if partly scorched and that I haven’t washed
it. I decide to just stuff bread inside and put it into the oven.
There’s
a major storm outside – a woman is on the stairs with a list checking
off names as if we are kids. She thinks that my ex and I are missing.
He enters with his daughter. I am embarrassed and I go back to my kitchen;
and notice that a few steps ouside my door I can see his.
12/17/01
I was vomiting and thought it would never stop. I then reconstituted
the vomit into a meal for a friend. it looked nothing like vomit and
I was amazed that it worked. It almost felt like it wasn't me doing
such a terrible thing. I was completely out of touch with whatever emotion
prompted it. I simply watched, in horror, as I served it for dinner.
5/10/00
i was trying to order breakfast in the upstairs section of a grubby,
dark restaurant. The waitress was extremely impatient, and there was
no menu, so i racked my brain trying to decide what i wanted. finally,
just as she was ready to flee, i said, ok, give me some shredded wheat.
She
took off down the stairs and i realized that she was planning to bring
it with regular milk so i tore off after her, screaming out "SOY
MILK"! i was really frustrated and angry at the service, and decided
to walk around a little downstairs.
i
saw a twin bed with some odd things laid out on the bedspread. It looked
like a garage sale held by a little kid of odd household objects and
pieces of bent wire.
i
somehow knew that i was entitled to one treat, and i was about to pick
out a plug in glade air freshener when my friend called me upstairs
to eat my shredded wheat. The waitress was nowhere in sight, and the
cereal had been served to me in a dirty loaf pan, all soggy.
5/21/99
i'm somehow linked to a huge, deformed, bald man; he's obese, has cracks
in his skull, gets more deformed the more i look at him. somehow i know
that if i try to escape from him, he'll kill me. i try several different
plots to escape. we're in a hospital, i seem to have a job there, everyone
there knows him. the scene changes and we're in a house that belongs
to a relative, i am looking at a turntable with a few friends. the big
fat deformed guy and i fight and i say the unspeakable "but you're ugly
and i'm beautiful".
he
stabs me in the arm with a poisoned thorn, i pull it out before the
poison kills me, but it subdues my energy a lot. he seems to disappear
after this attempt, and i go into the kitchen and consider making some
instant coffee. i feel guilty because it isn't my house and i'm using
someone else's stuff.
i
pick up a totally sugary peanut butter brownie, even though it makes
me sick, and i try to eat it. i accidentally drop it into the dirty
sink, so i break off the dirty part and try to take a bite. i realize
that it's just too gross and drop the whole thing in the sink.
scene
change. i'm in a department store with tons of beautiful merchandise,
everything is in huge duplicate amounts, twenty of this and that. i'm
there to do a product demo, and the department supervisor has arranged
everything so that it's easy to topple over.
i
accidentally knock over lots of things, including a fourteen foot high
curtain, and hope no one notices. i suddenly see lots of people who
i used to work with. i'm afraid they'll tell on me, but they pretend
to not even recognize me.