[Dream Project]
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9/9/04
The shock of being born silenced me for some time.

I became awakened and aware of the shiny purple Christmas ball hanging on the tree in front of me. My reflection grew small and I realized I was in this body. I tried to stand, then remembered it was the time to stay small and be her baby girl.

The dress was pretty. My eyes wandered to the right of the Christmas tree, up to the wall. An 8x10 picture of an Episcopalian Minister hung there. It felt like my Grandfather, my Mom's Dad. Over the years I have come to the realization that it was my Mother's Grandfather, also a minister of the church and the man that had just baptized me. I felt sorry for these people. I was born for a purpose.

A lady walked by, reached down to straighten the pretty white dress. I felt hungry. I burped. I began to feel sick. I was just beginning to cry when I looked up to my left. There he was, in his greenest glory. It was just his head and he had placed a black wig onto his usually bald head. I giggled, completely overjoyed. Thank you, "OGEE". The lung pressure became heavy. I told myself to sleep. It was time to be plagued with pneumonia.

12/18/03
There's a house I built in New Mexico, a small one which doesn't exist in the real world, that keeps popping up in dreams. In this dream, the couple who have been living there, it turns out they haven't paid me rent in years and I decide to investigate. Another disturbing thing is that the last dream I had that house in, there was lots of land around it, and in this dream, more houses have grown closer and closer.

Before I tackle the unpaid rent problem, the people in this ugly house next door are trying to sell me their house for 150K so that I will have the house which encroaches on my property. I take a walk through and the house is big but I start thinking, what the hell do I need it for except to tear it down and rebuild? It looks cheap. Plasticky wallboard and stuff.

Anyway, I walk over to my house and it smells awful, these people have taken really bad care of it. I decide that they have to go, after I take up the rent issue with them and realize they have no intention of paying the thousands in back rent. I figure that the reason I haven't noticed that they didn't pay before is that I keep forgetting I own this house, and without periodic dreams of it I wouldn't know it exists at all. I go to Harrisburg, where my mother grew up, and try to get relatives to help. I go to a hospital, a law office, a mall.

And my sister is there, Aileen, who's been dead for ten years. She's the same age as when she died, but doesn't have the baldness from chemo. I think it would be rude to mention that she's dead, so I try not to mention the ten years that have passed.

We walk through a mall and notice what has changed since we were kids, visiting our Nana in Harrisburg. A salesgirl asks for my information and when I give her my cellphone she gasps "Berkeley!" and I assure her that Harrisburg is much cooler than Berkeley.

I'm trying to be kind, but I actually find that I mean it. In Harrisburg there are all these kind and helpful dream-relatives, who are going to help me win back my dream-house. I realize it's a dream and I'm having a chance to talk to Aileen again, but then I wake up.

9/3/03
While visiting my parents, I get engaged in a discussion where I claim afterlife is real, but it only distresses my family. Suddenly, 3 people arrive ? from thin air, it appears, but my family pretends to ignore that - a team: a grey-haired boss, a guy, a girl. The guy and girl instruct me. The girl gives me some pills. Take a couple of the small ones first, she says, it will have a lesser effect than the large one, but if you start with the large one, as you probably are thinking right now, you will have a strong trip, but you won't remember anything later; It's essential that you will remember.

After she makes sure I understood, she takes me by the hand, says "we have to go now", and it seems we will all meet later. We are on a train. My bag keeps disappearing, and when it's time to get off the train, she does, but I'm stuck behind, searching for my bag which disappeared again. As the train moves on, the suspicion arises in me that it’s a dream.

I try to will the next station to be an arbitrary one, and half succeed; now I know, I'm not worried. I try to will a better station. Perhaps Paris?

Next thing I know the couple reappears, agitated. Hey guys, I say happily, there you are again - but they're surprised I recognize them and are stern looking. Are you sure you did as she told you? You didn’t mix the pills? Says the guy, and girl, stressed, asks me to say exactly what I took. Whatever you told me, I dunno, I reply innocently, feeling fine but not too concentrated.

Ok, says the guy, what do you see outside of the train window? There's an intersection. And what else is in there? There was a sort of an accident, and this truck’s doors were smashed and a strange animal I have never seen before (2 meter high toy-looking bear-man) comes out and walks around blindly. I think he has no eyes. And that looks normal to you? He says. Sure, I say, why not? I just told you there was an accident, and that this kind of animal... it happens sometimes, doesn't it? He's exasperated, waves his hand. The boss isn't gonna like this, he tells the girl, worried - we botched it. Me, I'm completely at ease, as if I was given a tranquilizer. I'm sure they mean well, and sorry the dream fades.

8/10/99
i let puck out (a dog friend who died) he became a guy and the backyard became the yard of the house i grew up in. i waved and cooed at puck and he responded dully.

aliens
animals
beauty
betrayal
celebrities
children
death
dwellings
food
jealousy
loss
love
paralyzed
performance
shopping
snakes
superpowers
travel
violence
weather
work