5/8/99 Everything in my dream was happening in a book at the same time. I had
seen the book, and the heroine was me as a pretty blonde. I was also the younger,
chubby preteen sister. The evil hero had started out as a brother in our large
family. He had been born with four arms, and a scene appeared of him with both
left arms cut off, looking small and pitiful. Later on, when he became evil,
every feeling he had of being an outcast made him dangerous. He now dressed
so that his stumps didn't show, in fact he appeared to have normal arms. He
was sort of a vampire, with an ability to morph into other people in order to
fool you.
At one point, I thought I had evaded the plot and escaped the book, but he turned up on the tv screen at a slumber party, catching my eye as he morphed out of a woman kissing a man into his evil self. I hid my eyes.
I went and tore up the book and wrote a symbol on it of a circle with an x which represented killing the power in it. The sister had a journey to take; and from looking at the book I knew he would be challenging her on it.
She had already met him and kind of found him attractive. He resembled, at
times, different men I'd gone out with. I was living in my old house. This guy
came and was making out with me, running his hand a few inches away from my
body in order to feel the energy.
5/10/99 I had just moved in, a friend was helping. Then another friend suddenly moved
into my room with some guy. Putting him on the couch. An old man. She started
not being direct about the whole thing so I just picked up my stuff and moved
it into another room.
The other room turned out to be much better, although it was the living room
and had no privacy. Somehow the privacy didnÕt bother me. I moved stuff around,
there were lots of fascinating antiques.
5/12/99 I went out on a walk with my ex's roommate and some girl who used to be a stripper,
was talking about it. They left without saying goodbye. I called goodbye, then
yelled it. It seemed I was in a foreign country, everyone had an accent.
The group (school?) stopped everything to kind of berate me for yelling. I
apologized loudly. Then I thought that maybe dave and this girl were in love
and didnÕt notice how rude they were being.
5/18/99 Watching amouse get trapped by a cat. Mouse jumps right in front of
cat and we watch breathlessly, will cat decide to be friends uncharacteristically.
Mouse seems to think cat might and gets close to it. Cat picks up mouse by a
whisker, and then suddenly, it seems to be a kitten instead as the cat bites
off a paw, and then the cat seems to be a human instead of a cat.
5/21/99 i'm somehow linked to a huge, deformed, bald man; he's obese, has cracks
in his skull, gets more deformed the more i look at him. somehow i know that
if i try to escape from him, he'll kill me. i try several different plots to
escape. we're in a hospital, i seem to have a job there, everyone there knows
him. the scene changes and we're in a house that belongs to a relative, i am
looking at a turntable with a few friends. the big fat deformed guy and i fight
and i say the unspeakable "but you're ugly and i'm beautiful". he stabs me in
the arm with a poisoned thorn, i pull it out before the poison kills me, but
it subdues my energy a lot. he seems to disappear after this attempt, and i
go into the kitchen and consider making some instant coffee. i feel guilty because
it isn't my house and i'm using someone else's stuff. i pick up a totally sugary
peanut butter brownie, even though it makes me sick, and i try to eat it. i
accidentally drop it into the dirty sink, so i break off the dirty part and
try to take a bite. i realize that it's just too gross and drop the whole thing
in the sink. scene change. i'm in a department store with tons of beautiful
merchandise, everything is in huge duplicate amounts, twenty of this and that.
i'm there to do a product demo, and the department supervisor has arranged everything
so that it's easy to topple over. i accidentally knock over lots of things,
including a fourteen foot high curtain, and hope no one notices. i suddenly
see lots of people who i used to work with. i'm afraid they'll tell on me, but
they pretend to not even recognize me.
6/11/99 IÕm in a house where the door is on backwards. I look at it and decide
to flip it around, with some manÕs help. Only he points out that the hinges
are attached to the wrong side. I figure it works well enough how it is. SuhailaÕs
daughter doesnÕt want to go to this wedding. SheÕs complaining about it. I put
in Òwell, then tell her itÕs ok if she doesnÕt goÓ. Suhaila is angry at the
prospect of this. She want to force her into it. But some guest there agrees
with me. I feel that IÕm right.
6/12/99 i know that brownie dream was freudian, but now i'm actually eating
feces. this dream made me feel so sick when i woke up that i don't think i'll
eat anything brown for days...in this dream, i am working with a bunch of people
in some type of new job...in real life i'm obsessed with healthy snacking, and
for some reason in this dream i am eating a bag of feces. my thoughts while
i do this are that this is the healthiest thing i can do...even in the dream,
i felt nauseous when i realized what i was doing...then somehow i'm speeding
along with a few old friends, applying for a job at some corporate headquarters
for nintendo, located across the bay from san francisco, and somehow looking
a lot like disneyland. when we arrive i make them wait for me to brush my hair
and adjust my outfit to look more together. somehow this takes forever. while
i'm doing this, i see my mom scurry down the aisle, i ask them "didn't you see
that was my mom?" and realize i'm back east now...they say yes, so i tell them
"well, go over and say hi!". wake up, feeling totally sick.
6/19/99 this time, i'm living in a futuristic society; and my job is to report
on everybody to the authorities. this particular night, i had a lot of personal
opinions that get in the way of conducting my professional duty. basically people
bribe me to like them so that i will give them a favorable report. i don't know
who the reports are for; or why anyone cares. scene change and i'm in a house
i've agreed to housesit and i've neglected everything i was supposed to do.
a week has passed and it's finally sunk in that there are plants everywhere
that havent' been watered. i go around trying to take care of everything but
it's too late.
7/20/99 ok, it's been a while. this one was brief but extremely disturbing.
in it, i was worrying about what to do because i discovered i had a disfiguring
condition; i was showing it to people but it was far worse when i saw it than
when they did. when i looked at my arms, they were swollen up with batteries
(c size batteries, i think) under the skin. the skin was all red and lumpy from
the batteries and my arms felt twice as big. this was mostly on the outside
of my forearms. a cross between huge insect bites and batteries embedded in
my skin. the feeling i had was that i was terribly sick with this condition
and had never noticed it before. but when i showed someone my arms, the swelling
was less and more resembled huge insect bites than anything else. right before
i woke up, i was worrying about MEDICAL INSURANCE.
8/10/99 i let puck out (a dog friend) he became a guy and the backyard became
the yard of the house i grew up in. i waved and cooed at puck and he responded
dully.
11/26/99 my friend mark was living in this beautiful house with a hot tub in
the living room. daphne had three rooms attached to it, with a view of a rushing
creek right outside. she wasn't living in the rooms, but they were set up with
minimal furniture as some sort of art display. we walked the rooms and i was
thinking, wondering where she got all the furniture. the house seemed like it
should be mine. but she seemed very unwilling to give it up. i started thinking
if i had ever seen someone living right by a creek like that, was it dangerous?
it was beautiful and i hadn't ever thought i might like it before. there seemed
to be a group of friends who perpetually hung out in the living area. for some
reason i was rewashing their dishes and some type of disagreement happened between
me and one of the girls concerning the princeton public library (the town i
grew up in). i went into the library with a little girl who was connected to
the house and i changed in the little girls's room into a sort of ball dress/witch
costume. then, it seemed that i was supposed to bring a package from the house
(which now seemed to be in downtown princeton) to near the princeton shopping
mall. i waited about an hour for the bus. my shoes were very high heels and
impossible to run in, so i missed one bus. i went back to the house in the meantime
and the girl i had the disagreement with was brushing and rolling up my hair.
she seemed quite proud of her work and insisted i trade something worth twenty
bucks for it. however, as soon as i walked out the door, the hair fell down.
the bus arrived and two girls from the house were with me, helping me find out
where to go. we talked to the bus driver and he said he knew where, and dropped
me at a church. it was a church i used to take ballet lessons at when i was
thirteen. we walked in and i found the room we used to take class in, still
with ballet barres and mirrors. however, i knew that my memory wasn't constructing
it right, and the church and the ballet room were actually very different in
reality, my mind was creating a composite of churches i'd been in since then.
i went to get something to eat. somehow, there was a supermarket connected to
the church. a strange one. there were big pieces of poisonous snakes hung up
on display. they all looked very different. for some reason, i had a memory
of eating a whole rattlesnake (not MY memory, i think!) and i started (warning:
gross!) uh, eliminating snakes. a woman came up and warned me not to touch them.
she gave me a plastic bag to pick them up with. for some reason, nobody passing
seemed to think this was disgusting, or unusual. they had a mild interest in
it, if anything, they were envious because i was producing my own poisonous
snakes, where they had to BUY them! where i touched them by mistake my hands
were burning.
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